Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize