He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
