shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize