The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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