escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
