Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Houston, we have a squirter
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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