More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
