I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
