Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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