Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just want to make out with him forever
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
