it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize