youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
