he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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