Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
