): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize