my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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