I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
