rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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