I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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