so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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