Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
