I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
