She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
