just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
