And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
