Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
