I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
