oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
