i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
