And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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