doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm at about main and main street
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
