No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
