So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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