So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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