whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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