Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
