omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
