its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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