Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Don't make out with my wife yet
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize