i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
is that a dick in a sweater?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
