whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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