Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize