I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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