I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
