i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
