i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
