i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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