dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
