he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
