Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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