I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
