We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
