Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize