just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
