shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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