if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize