girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
