a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
