ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
