the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I could fuck to npr.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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