How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
