My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
