I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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