I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
