How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
