You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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