Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
its liver damage thursday
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
