He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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